MandarineSlice: I hate bugs!!!


Hopefull pessimist...and I am sure the world has not seen enough of me...just as I have definitely not seen enough of it! ;)

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

I hate bugs!!!

I don't have a lot of fears in the world, but bugs freak me out in a really huge way! They're soo disgusting, slimy, slippery....just about the only thing that makes me shutter, shiver and my skin crawl! I can't kill them 'cose it would feel worse than stepping on shit, but I can't stand to see them either. Seems you can't escape your greatest fears though, they will eventually come back to haunt you!
When I was younger and the summer night heat was unbearable, I used to sleep with my window open. One night a light brown, innocent, little bug flew through my window and landed on my night table. It was horrible! I got up, took the closest glass vase I could find and trapped it inside! I couldn't close one eyelid that night though. I kept thinking it was going to escape my glass prison and attack me. I kept seeing the vase slowly making it's way towards my bed, the bug freeing himself and flying above me ferociously, threatening my sleep.
I thought I'd stay alert and on guard....better be safe than sorry!!!
In the morning I tried a trick with a piece of paper and covered the bottom of the vase, carring the evil creature to the window and releasing it into midair!!! I felt so relieved!
I never enecountered bug or bug problems until just a few months ago. My kitchen was invaded by huge, beasty, black creatures that, anoyingly enough, did not even fear my presance. The monsters must have been about the size of my finger, black, a strong sparkling, striking, defiant black. They had mated and spread and made my kitchen their teritory!!! I hated them, feared them and was appalled by them...the nerve of them...coming into my kitchen, walking across my floors, my table, my napkin, my spoon even...X-)(
I had to tip toe when I went into the kitchen and check every dark corner of the room to see if they were creeping up in those parts. I even wound up with one of them in my bed. Definitely, not the kind of company I had in mind!
I was at the edge of my sanity...they were everywhere! Little by little they were kicking me out of my own house. ..
Nasty, bloated creatures, ate my food, probably drank from my water! Little did I know
One day I came home tired and moody. Mom had left some cookies on a plate in the kitchen. I checked...The coast was clear...No hidden fat surprises. I stepped into the kitchen, slammed my butt down on the sofa with a glass of milk, started zapping and munching cookies at ease. For a minute I had completely forgotten that I was sharing my kitchen with evil, dark creatures from the soils of the Earth. I found an interesting movie to watch and, as the plot thickened, the cookies started flying off the plate into my mouth. I was no longer watching my food or my weight for that matter...
At one point I thought it was time to stop and maybe check if there were any cookies left. I ventured into taking one more off the plate ...last one... I thought! As my hand took the cookie away from the others, my face froze with a deep expression of shock. From the back of the plate, arrogantly swirling his antlers in the air and rubbing them against each other...the black monster was staring at me. We had been sharing the plate!
I have never thought me and ol' slimy bugger would ever get so intimate!
Man do I hate bugs!



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