Black Holes and Revelations...or ....Mandarine sliced in half

Thinking about my future in the past...it all seemed like a big black hole. It swallowed me up fully...I had no idea who I was and what I wanted to become, I had no idea where I was going or what I was going to do with myself when I got there...
Back then it was that much harder to maintain any relationship because how can you expect someone to stick by you and understand when you don't understand yourself...How can you expect anyone to get to know you when you change from one day to the next...They think they know one thing...then the next they're all confused again...
the mandarine was rolling downhill fast...with no one to peal me off or slice me in half to see my content...it could have been bitter sweet ...or just bitter...or just sweet but it was un explored
For who could slice a mandarine that kept rolling downhill and couldn't stand still?!?
I suppose the hardest part about getting to know someone is getting to know urself though that person...seeing how u react to him...around him...and for him! I often think we tend to define ouselves by other people...we compare..react...get mad...get happy...get ambitious...Well getting to know a special person is somehow getting to know yourself ...the special someone inside of you...Know how there are people that bring out the worst in you and there are people that make you become a better person???
...The deeper you go into the process of knowing someone...the deeper you become involved with your own self...you become aware of aspects of yourself you hadn't known before and sometimes they're troubling...sometimes you want to stop because you're getting to know too much...of him...of yourself..of the realities around you
...Well I don't wanna stop...for the first time..I like what I am finding out...I might just be an ok kindda gal...
With the right kindda knife u cand slice any mandarine in half;)