m-am...diversitficat

putin satula de lamentari filozofie aci... ma mut cu "frustrarile" profesionale aci.
Sper sa enjoy! it's a little more to the point ;)

so cool ...I had to post it

For all of you out there that hate tying your shoelaces everytime you put on your shoes...Tie them just once...but do it in style!!!

original-techniques-to-tie-your-shoe-laces

for an immaginative uikend

cumva apropos de ce ziceam

"In Your Eyes"

love I get so lost, sometimes
days pass and this emptiness fills my heart
when I want to run away
I drive off in my car
but whichever way I go
I come back to the place you are

all my instincts, they return
and the grand facade, so soon will burn
without a noise, without my pride
I reach out from the inside

in your eyes
the light the heat
in your eyes
I am complete
in your eyes
I see the doorway to a thousand churches
in your eyes
the resolution of all the fruitless searches
in your eyes
I see the light and the heat
in your eyes
oh, I want to be that complete
I want to touch the light
the heat I see in your eyes

love, I don't like to see so much pain
so much wasted and this moment keeps slipping away
I get so tired of working so hard for our survival
I look to the time with you to keep me awake and alive

and all my instincts, they return
and the grand facade, so soon will burn
without a noise, without my pride
I reach out from the inside

in your eyes
the light the heat
in your eyes
I am complete
in your eyes
I see the doorway to a thousand churches
in your eyes
the resolution of all the fruitless searches
in your eyes
I see the light and the heat
in your eyes
oh, I want to be that complete
I want to touch the light,
the heat I see in your eyes
in your eyes in your eyes
in your eyes in your eyes

anew

This autumn seems like one of the gloomiest, darkest ever... at first I thought it was only due to the weather, an exterior phenomenon that had started to affect the interior a little too much. Also the weather reports were never too happy or optimistic and that gave me grim perspective as well. I now realize it was all about predictions...bad predictions, but not from the outside but from within. I thought I as healing...slowly but meticulously and somehow...I am. Yet the process of healing, true, genuine, 100% healing will always imply dredging up old wounds, opening them up again and letting them catch a proper crust, one that cannot be reopened or rehatched. The thing about old, internal, non-medical wounds is that no one from the outside can fix them... no doctor, no friend, no husband...or lover...no mother...or father or even pet for that matter. IT HAS TO BE YOU! Sure... they can assist, be supportive, hand you the scissors where you need to cut or the fine, silky thread where you need to mend and sew up...but that's as far as they can go. The actual fixing you have to do yourself, manually, mentally, alcoholically, aggressively, hysterically or just patiently...whichever way helps... YOU. In this struggle to fix myself up, I actually made myself dependent of everything and everyone that could assist my process, yet denied myself or my own personal input. It's a much older me that hasn't yet reached the places she thought she'd be at this age. Funny thing is I never envisioned myself quite anywhere distinctly at this point. I never had any real projections just predictions. Predictions from my mom, predictions from my friends, predictions of myself shaped up by other people. I have been living with an image of myself, or maybe thousands of images of myself seen through the eyes of different people. I guess I never really stopped to look at myself through my own eyes. And now, as this age is pushing a mirror towards my face, I was scared as hell to look inside at the real me... and what I really think of myself. I guess the only true valuable thing this age can teach me is to have a sincere and honest chat with myself...catch up where we left off like old friends or maybe just get to meet each other for the first time. I think 30 is just a chance to meet this old- new inner me, the one I never really gave a chance to know in the past... to caught up with people's projections of what life at 30 ought to be. I took a lot of small yet significant steps towards this final showdown with myself. I cleared up a lot of shit that had been pilling up - old so called friends I could never be myself around, old friends that have never quite been friends around me, old diseases and illnesses coming back to haunt me now and then, old jobs and ambitions that might have never been mine. The slate is almost clean now...the table is set...two chairs facing each other across a smooth wooden board. I am already sitting down. I'm just waiting for ME to arrive. And for the first time... anxious and still a bit scared... I'm looking forward, eyes front.

Predictions...yes...there will always be predictions... bad predictions maybe. Projections...well that's a different story. A story that is just beginning.

They said that winter will start early and that October will be cold and gloomy...and yet...today...the sun is shining!