The Killers- All these things I've done

When there's nowhere else to run
Is there room for one more son
One more son
If you can hold on
If you can hold on, hold on
I wanna stand up, I wanna let go
You know, you know - no you don't, you don't
I wanna shine on in the hearts of men
I want a meaning from the back of my broken hand

Another head aches, another heart breaks
I am so much older than I can take
And my affection, well it comes and goes
I need direction to perfection, no no no no

Help me out
Yeah, you know you got to help me out
Yeah, oh don't you put me on the blackburner
You know you got to help me out

And when there's nowhere else to run
Is there room for one more son
These changes ain't changing me
The cold-hearted boy I used to be

Yeah, you know you got to help me out
Yeah, oh don't you put me on the blackburner
You know you got to help me out
You're gonna bring yourself down
Yeah, you're gonna bring yourself down
Yeah, you're gonna bring yourself down

I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
...

Yeah, you know you got to help me out
Yeah, oh don't you put me on the blackburner
You know you got to help me out
You're gonna bring yourself down
You're gonna bring yourself down
Yeah, oh don't you put me on the blackburner
Yeah, you're gonna bring yourself down

Over and out, last call for sin
While everyone's lost, the battle is won
With all these things that I've done
All these things that I've done
If you can hold on
If you can hold on

Love ...and the rest of the world

Paranoia is simply a knowing of the truth, the absence of proof is not the proof of absence

Interpol -EVIL

Rosemary
Heaven restores you in life
You're Coming with me
Through the aging, the fear and the strife

It's the smiling on the package
It's the faces in the sand
It's the thought that lifts you upwards
Embracing me with two hands

Right will take you places
Yeah, maybe to the beach
When your friends they do come crying
Tell them how your pleasure's set up on slow-release

Hey wait
Great smile
Sensitive to fate
Not Denial
But hey whose on trial?

It took a lifespan
With no cellmate
The long way back
saying,"why can't we look the other way?"

We speaks about travel
Yeah, we think about the land
We smart like all peoples
Feeling real tan

I could take you places
Do you need a new man?
Wipe the pollen from the faces
Make revision to a dream while you wait in the van

Hey wait
Great smile
Sensitive to fate
Not Denial
But hey whose on trial?

It took a lifespan
With no cellmate
by the long way back
Saying,"why can't we look the other way?"
You're weightless, you are exotic
You need something for which to care
Sandy, why can't we look the other way?"

Leave some shards under the belly
Lay some grease inside my hand
It's a sentimental jury
And the makings of a good plan
You've come to love me lightly
Yeah you've come to hold me tight
Is this motion everlasting
Or do shudders pass in the night?

Rosemary
Oh heaven restores you in life

I spent a lifespan with no cellmate
The long way back
Saying,"why can't we look the other way?"
You're weightless, semi-erotic
You need someone to take you there
Sandy, why can't we look the other way?"
Why can't we just play the other game?
Why can't we just look the other way?

extreme

Sunt o persoana a extremelor....negru/alb, trista/vesela, exuberanta/dezamagita, pesimista/optimista, scarbita/indragostita....
Starea mea de spirit e un lucru foarte ciudat si aproape incontrolabil, in schimb, cand vine vorba de culorile cu care vad lumea, am parte de un spectacol impresionant, covarsitor, compus din nuante de gri. Aproape fiecarei persoane din viata mea ii pot gasi o justificare, un motiv pentru ceea ce este, pentru felul in care se comporta, pentru nuanta de gri pe care, TOT eu, i-o atribui. Nu vad lumea in buna sau rea, meschina sau altruista, nu vad nimic numai in alb si negru/negru si alb
...de ar fi totul atat de simplu!!!
Daca ar fi sa derulezi lumea mea ar trebui sa dai de capat unui sir interminabil de complicatii. Lucruri pe care nu pot sa le vad pur si simplu obiectiv, ci numai interpretari si indoieli si mari lacune de incredere. Daca as fi un om care vede doar alb sau negru ar fi mult mai simplu! Dar in afara de starile mele personale care deseori se plaseaza la extreme, nimic din existenta mea de pana acum NU se claseaza in categoria "simplu".
Fiind si ochelarista...ma gandesc sa-mi cumpar o lentila alba si una neagra...dar problema e ca trebuie sa privesc cu amandoi ochii! Orice as face..tot gri iese!

secs

Intr-o discutie recenta cu un necunoscut cu N mare a venit vorba despre perfectiune. Pentru el, perfectiunea s-a intruchipat intr-o fata de care-i placea la un moment dat, dar pe care n-a reusit sa o ...
Concluzia:
Este greu sa atingi perfectiunea, daramite sa faci sex cu ea!

happinezz

I spelled it wrong cose it's happiness according to za bee

Fericirea este calea, nu destinatia!

Prima oara cand am descoperit aceste cuvinte ...eram destul de matura sa inteleg ce inseamna...insa nu indeajuns de intelepta pentru a incerca sa le aplic.
Cu timpul, si putin pe ocolite, evitand Calea cea dreapta, am reusit totusi sa ajung la aceeasi concluzie.
Ambitia este un lucru bun, incapatanarea de asemenea...insa incrancenarea deja sfideaza oarecum notiunea de "sanatos". Deseori ne fixam teluri marete in viata si luptam cu incrancenare sa le atingem...pe drum uitam insa sa ne bucuram de proces in sine...de ce acumulam, de experienta pe care aceasta destinatie ne-o ofera.
E ca si cum ai merge la Paris dar ai dormi tot drumul spre Franta, sau ai refuza sa te uiti pe geam pentru ca tu te concentrezi pe destinatie si atat!
Viata ne ofera atatea bucurii si tristeti la tot pasul, secretul e sa stim sa le traim!
Inainte ma incrancenam teribil pentru a realiza tot ce imi propuneam. Fie ea o nota mare in generala, o excursie la munte in liceu, o bursa in facultate, un tip dragut la serviciu...toate sunt teluri, scopuri, ideluri destul de nobile, dar odata atinse nu mai inseamna nimic daca nu ai invatat ceva si pe parcurs!
O raza de soare dimineata devreme, un zambet cald al unui necunoscut in troleu, un record personal pe care nu te credeai capabila sa-l depasesti, o melodie noua pe care o descoperi singura si de care te indragostesti, o conversatie apetisanta deasupra unei cesti de ceai cu rom...o buburuza...
Sunt atatea lucruri de care te poti bucura in viata, trebuie doar sa-ti deschizi ochii un pic mai larg...Deschide-i mai larg si te asigur ca nu iti vei pierde din vedere tinta, insa e posibil sa descoperi alte modalitati de a o atinge...
"It's not important weather you win or loose...it's how you play the game!"...mda...in ziua de azi, nimeni nu mai crede asta. O reclama mai veche la adidas infatisa o femeie foarte atletica si agresiva dand o replica memorabila celor de mai sus:"The person who said winning isn't everything, never won ANYTHING!". Lumea este in continua miscare, nu mai are rabdare, rezultatele trebuie sa fie palpabile, victoria trebuie sa miroasa puternic, sa inunde si sa-i faca pe ceilalti sa-si duca mana la nas. Traim intr-o lume a impartita in oameni "cool" si "luzeri". Oare cand si unde anume "along the way" ne-am pierdut identitatea si nevoia de a fi imperfecti?!
Eu am decis sa ma bucur de drum, sa ma bucur de viata si de ceea ce imi doresc sa obtin, de ceea ce nu obtin si de ceea ce mi se ofera de la sine! Am decis sa rad...sa plang...sa privesc lumea in ochi ...si cu ochii larg deschisi! Pana la urma cele mai frumoase lucruri care mi s-au intamplat in viata au fost cele pe care nu le-am prevazut si nu le-am planificat deloc
...sau aproape deloc ma rog ;)
Astept sa vad ce surprize imi mai rezerva in continuare, pentru ca am inca o mare capacitate de a fi surprinsa

am trait sa-l vad si p'asta...

...un remake francez dupa un film american!!! Mon Dieu!



De battre mon coeur s'est arrete (Si inima mi se opri in loc...in traducere pur autentica) este unul din putinele filme care ruleaza momentan pe ecrane, pe care nu m-am putut abtine sa nu-l vad si a doua oara! Film violent si incarcat de emotie dar si de cotidian, surprins din unghiuri regizorale sclipitoare, lumini si umbre, crima si arta, un film care aduna in el multiple contraste si le expune ca realitati ale vietii, ca modalitati de exprimare ale firescului. Un film frantuzesc pe cat de autentic, pe atat de inspirat dupa varianta originala a lui James Toback - Fingers in care, din cate am citit cel putin, Harvey Keitel are un rol remarcabil!
N-am sa comentez filmul american, deoarece nu l-am vazut. N-am sa cometez nici faptul ca ne aflam dupa sute de comedii si drame reluate de americani, remixate, refardate si cosmetizate in stil occidental si promovate ca si cum nicaieri in lume nu ar exista un scenariu mai original ca al lor...Mai ales in Franta unde cineva cu bani mai putini a avut aceeasi idee..si culmea... cu mult inaintea lor!!! Dupa ce nici unul dintre aceste filme originale nu reuseste sa ridice box-office-ul pretentiosilor spectatori de la Multiplex, Movieplex sau tot felul de alte plexuri contemporane si este depozitat frumos printre sutele de pelicule prafuite ale unei cinemateci obscure, in timp ce "amicul" sau american iese la rampa cu aplomb si fonduri de promovare, si este primit ca un adevarat "star" de cinema! Dupa toata aceasta lipsa de antentie de care se "bucura" autenticul...Iata ca se poate si invers!!!
Fingers, desi film bun, zace prafuit intr-o cinemateca obscura si "De battre..." se bucura de 8 Premii Cesar 2006, inclusiv pentru Cel mai bun film si Cel mai bun regizor , Ursul de Argint Berlin- 2006 ,Cel mai bun film strain- BAFTA 2006 . Nu ca toata aceasta colectie de premii ar putea convinge pe un spectator multiplexat sa mearga sa vada filmul, dar ma bucura pe mine ca spectator ocazional de filme franceze si simt nevoia sa fac acest lucru cunoscut!

Filmul surprinde cu naturalete viata unui tanar care face din violenta meserie, din adulter o placere nevinovata si din dragostea pentru tatal sau, o pasiune! Conflictul intervine insa atunci cand pasiunea pentru tatal sau este pusa in umbra de o mai veche pasiune, renascuta ...pentru
pian! Tanarul ia lectii, pregatindu-se intens pentru o auditie, neglijand aproape complet celelalte aspecte ale vietii sale. Aspecte care, viciate fiind, iau o intorsatura tragica pe care el nu mai e capabil sa o previna. Intre clapele albe si negre ale pianului, regizorul si interpretarea remarcabila a lui Romain Duris, lasa sa se intrevada nuante intense de gri, impletind cu talent aspecte impresionante ale vietii - moartea, violenta, sexul, pasiunea cu partiturile antrenante ale unor piese de muzica clasica, pop sau chiar electro. Un film despre pasiunea pentru muzica nu poate sa aiba decat o coloana sonora extraordinara (tot incerc sa-mi dau seama de melodia reluata si pe genericul final!!!).
Inima nu ti se va opri in loc la acest film, insa iti va bate mai puternic!
Pentru ca este un film despre viata, despre toate acele lucruri care iti fac inima sa bata astfel. Un prieten mai vechi ( "un multiplexat" de altfel) spunea odata:" E ciudat, dar clipele in care simt cu adevarat ca traiesc, sunt cele in care mi se taie rasuflarea!"....cam la asta s-ar putea rezuma si explicatia numelui acestui film! Restul de explicatii va invit sa le descoperiti si singuri...

meaning of blogs

A blog...is like a jurnal log...in the shape of a blob...something very small and quite concentrated...like you're daily reality check...or perhaps meaningless bable..Nevertheless it's a form of expression that seems to be catching on quite quickly all around. And why not a blog?...rather than a curse word or a bad expression? an anger-filled comment or even a fistfight? Let it all out here!!!...Xpress urself! Quickly and full of sense or non-sense...it's not like U have to read my blog...but it is there! It confirms my existance and that you can't deny it!Allthough not great, not incredible..it is an exsitance I can talk about! Denying my blog would be like denying me...or what I did yesterday or what I felt the day before...I am not in your face...I am just there!!!Like it or not!
This day and age frustration and repressed feelings are such common phenomenons that people feel more and more the need to communicate, to speak their mind...and most of all...to have someone listen to them , really hear them out! This is just another way to do that- non-violent, not excessive, not outrageous, not too striking...not too long...just a log...a blog...a tiny concentrated drop of life...of someone's life...perhaps of your own! Writing means reflecting on different aspects of life...writing means thinking, following a pattern, wondering about a meaningful subject...the fact that it's published for anyone to see...means...responsability...the fact that someone takes the time to read it means personal interest! Sure, no one that fights lions in a safari, struggles with stck market bids every day or climb the vertical slopes of the Rocky Mountains for a living, will ever have time to write a blog. But for those of us who see each ordinary day as a samll possible adventure in its own...it's good to have a chance to share our experiences. And who knows maybe soon there will be a blog entry about a man fighting lions...Becaose bearing your soul is quite exciting...what could be more risky then a personal blog read by thousands of anonymous bloggers hungry for attention and new experiences !?!

I hate bugs!!!

I don't have a lot of fears in the world, but bugs freak me out in a really huge way! They're soo disgusting, slimy, slippery....just about the only thing that makes me shutter, shiver and my skin crawl! I can't kill them 'cose it would feel worse than stepping on shit, but I can't stand to see them either. Seems you can't escape your greatest fears though, they will eventually come back to haunt you!
When I was younger and the summer night heat was unbearable, I used to sleep with my window open. One night a light brown, innocent, little bug flew through my window and landed on my night table. It was horrible! I got up, took the closest glass vase I could find and trapped it inside! I couldn't close one eyelid that night though. I kept thinking it was going to escape my glass prison and attack me. I kept seeing the vase slowly making it's way towards my bed, the bug freeing himself and flying above me ferociously, threatening my sleep.
I thought I'd stay alert and on guard....better be safe than sorry!!!
In the morning I tried a trick with a piece of paper and covered the bottom of the vase, carring the evil creature to the window and releasing it into midair!!! I felt so relieved!
I never enecountered bug or bug problems until just a few months ago. My kitchen was invaded by huge, beasty, black creatures that, anoyingly enough, did not even fear my presance. The monsters must have been about the size of my finger, black, a strong sparkling, striking, defiant black. They had mated and spread and made my kitchen their teritory!!! I hated them, feared them and was appalled by them...the nerve of them...coming into my kitchen, walking across my floors, my table, my napkin, my spoon even...X-)(
I had to tip toe when I went into the kitchen and check every dark corner of the room to see if they were creeping up in those parts. I even wound up with one of them in my bed. Definitely, not the kind of company I had in mind!
I was at the edge of my sanity...they were everywhere! Little by little they were kicking me out of my own house. ..
Nasty, bloated creatures, ate my food, probably drank from my water! Little did I know
One day I came home tired and moody. Mom had left some cookies on a plate in the kitchen. I checked...The coast was clear...No hidden fat surprises. I stepped into the kitchen, slammed my butt down on the sofa with a glass of milk, started zapping and munching cookies at ease. For a minute I had completely forgotten that I was sharing my kitchen with evil, dark creatures from the soils of the Earth. I found an interesting movie to watch and, as the plot thickened, the cookies started flying off the plate into my mouth. I was no longer watching my food or my weight for that matter...
At one point I thought it was time to stop and maybe check if there were any cookies left. I ventured into taking one more off the plate ...last one... I thought! As my hand took the cookie away from the others, my face froze with a deep expression of shock. From the back of the plate, arrogantly swirling his antlers in the air and rubbing them against each other...the black monster was staring at me. We had been sharing the plate!
I have never thought me and ol' slimy bugger would ever get so intimate!
Man do I hate bugs!

Sesam!

Am observat ca deseori uit sa fiu o "lady" in prezenta unei femei. Parca feminitatea noastra este cel mai bine pusa in valoare in prezenta unui barbat...mai ales in prezenta unui barbat care ne place! Parca atunci cand suntem in gasca sau numai cu "fetele" sau cu "baietii" uitam de roluri si de conventii. Ne mai stergem si cu mana la nas...mai stam si cracanate...mai bem si inghiortzaind...de baieti nu mai zic..cate or face ei cand nu ii "vede fetili". Ma intreb oare de ce e nevoie mereu de un termen de comparatie pentru a ne defini. Barbatul s-a definit intotdeuna in raport cu femeia si invers, pana si atunci cand ne raportam la acelasi sex..o facem deseori luand in seama persoanele de sex opus din viata ei : "ea de ce e observata de baieti?" sau "eu am clar mai mult succes ca ea...la baieti";)
Ciudat nu..dar necesar...revin cu obeservatii...

s'asha-mi vine cateodata....

remebering our gender

Why does it always take a man to realise you're a lady?

curiosity has big eyes

Amica sau prietena

Xtent

Xtent

Here In My Room - INCUBUS

This party is old and uninviting
Participants all in black and white
You enter in full blown technicolor
Nothing is the same after tonight

If the world would fall apart
In a fiction worthy wind
I wouldn't change a thing now that you're here
Yeah, love is a verb here in my room

You enter and close the door behind you
Now show me the world seen from the stars
If only the lights would dim a little
I'm weary of eyes upon my scars

If the world would fall apart
In a fiction worthy wind
I wouldn't change a thing now that you're here
Yeah, love is a verb here in my room

Pink tractor beam into your incision
Head spining as free as dervishs' whirl
I came here expecting next to nothing
So thank you for being that kind of girl

GOOD songs about the rain

Ploaia - Capuccino
Crying in the rain - A-ha
Rain - Maddona
Raindrops keep falling on my head
Here comes the rain again - Eurythmics
...
but just remeber to "Always take the weather with you"- Crowded house

it's raining again...

Ma gandesc ce fel de om trebuie sa fii sa nu te afecteze ploaia...
Nu ma refer la senzatia fizica...atingerea picaturilor de ploaie poate fi o senzatie placuta...de purificare...Simti cum apa iti patrunde in piele...rareori intram in contact atat de intim cu un fenomen al naturii. Cand e frig, ploaia te sperie, tremuri doar la gandul ca te poate uda, ca te poate face si mai vulnerabil la frig...Dar ploaia este de fapt binefacatoare si fizic si phisic!
Te face sa te confrunti cu adevarata ta stare ...Frica, teama, remuscare, regrete, vulnerabilitate...Cand e urat afara si esti obligat sa stai in casa, izolat deseori..te vezi nevoit sa privesti inauntru, in tine, sa iti explorezi si colturile mai intunecate, sa te privesti cu adevarat.
Reiau...asadar...In astfel de momente, putini sunt cei carora le place ce vad...Multi se deprima si mai mult cand fac aceste introspectii. Le revin in minte tot felul de intamplari nefericite, zile trecute mai putin insorite...asocierea starea pshica proasta- stare proasta a vremii se produce uluitor de repede in astfel de cazuri!
De ce sa nu ne bucuram de acest moment totusi! Ne purifica, ne certifica, ne reduce la valori esentiale de care putem sa ne agatam...pe care le putem aprecia mai mult atunci cand va iesi soarele!
Deci haideti sa ne bucuram de ploaie...de tot ce aduce ea...pana si de cliseul inevitabil ca "dupa ploaie...aproape intotdeauna...va iesie soarele!". Macar pe o certitudine putem si noi sa contam!
so I say...It's rainging again... Sa ploua frate! de abia astept sa vad cine sunt!

lumina de la captul..ferestrei

Era seara. Se lasase usor racoare. Ma uitam fix spre o fereastra luminata dintr-un bloc de pe Titulescu! Eram in statia lui 34, tremuram de frig si ma gandeam cat de rece e singuratatea dar si cat de recomfortant e sa fii singur...uneori...atunci cand te simti bine in pielea ta.
Priveam spre lumina aprinsa de la acea fereastra si ma intrebam daca dincolo de ea nu exista un suflet la fel de singur si infrigurat!
Desi simteam cum frigul imi patrundea incet in oase, ma incalzea si ma bucura gandul unui viitor incert in care dupa o fereastra ca aceea ar putea fi un suflet pe sufletul meu, cineva care sa mi se potriveasca, sa fie mai aproape decat imi imaginam.
Ma simteam totusi bine...atunci..acum...in pielea mea...piele , ce-i drept, putin mai gr(o)asa de la cantitatile exagerate de mancare pe care incepusem sa le consum in ultimul timp. Ma simteam bine desi stinghera si usor speriata de perspectiva unui viitor in care toti prietenii si prietenele mele isi vor gasi "jumatatea" inaintea mea (sau ma rog..ceva aproape de jumatate). Un viitor in care ei stau ascunsi dupa cate o fereastra ca cea pe care o priveam fiecare cu sufletul lui pereche, in timp ce eu afara, in frig, in statia de tramvai inca mai caut fereastra luminata de sufletul meu pereche.
Deocamdata, nimeni nu aparea in dreptul ferestrei pe care o priveam...si se apropia incet si tramvaiul...
Am urcat cu gandul la fereastra casei mele...acolo unde totul este cald si bine...acolo unde confortul unei telecomenzi pe care pot s-o butonez doar eu, ma lasa sa traiesc cu impresia ca exista totusi lucruri pe care le pot controla in viata...ca exista dreptate si ca trebuie doar sa ai rabdare.
Propriul tau adevar ti se va dezvalui incetul cu incetul, trebuie doar sa stii sa-i faci fata...vorba lui Jack Nicholson ;)

singurul lucru

Singurul lucru constant pe lumea asta e schimbarea...

first day...of the rest of my life

April 10th, 2006

Funny how we get used to something so much we make it our universe!
Um not really that inspired today, I just know that things might start to change. Change is either quick..it hits you full frontal and you just have to cope or it either takes it's time with you... and conquering tiny bit of your world until it takes you over completely.
When it's ready to strike..it usually is too late...You didn't have time to welcome it...you didn't have time to oppose..you just find things are changed. What's worse is when you find YOU have changed. It's not good to let changes surprise you..it's good to provoke and seek change becose CHANGE is inevitable!
So...go on...CHANGe...if you think you're man/woman enough!
I tried it..it's working out ok so far...
Oh and another thing..inspiration comes with change...it's as easy as breathing...getting inspired...inspire/expire...and CHANGE.