I just don't know what to do with myself...

Concediu fortzat...s-a inchis agentia iar mie nu mi se deschide nicio posibilitatea mareata de a-mi petrece timpul...decat eu cu mine..in liniste si introspectie tulburata des de ricoseurile lui Mitzi si Bosfi prin casa. Nu e chiar nasol... sunt mari si zari unde lucrurile stau mai prost. Berli inca ma iubeste...o simt...dar asta e alta poveste...pentru ca eu nu-l voi uita nici macar in ziua mea cea mare...
Eutanasieri si ganduri negre in prag de nunta...nunta mea...Nu mi-am imaginat niciodata asa ceva...nu mi-am imaginat ca ma voi marita candva si ca voi avea atata manie in mine inainte de asta. Ieri m-am surprins tipand cu o voce si un timbru care parca mi-era strain...parca nu izvorase din mine...si totusi atata furie e din mine...as putea s-o contabilizez ...sa o decantez sa aflu fiecare firicel de unde provine dar m-as enerva din nou...mai rau ...si nu merita. Nu cred ca meritam nimic din ce ni se intampla acum...la lucrurile rele ma refer(ca mai sunt si cateva bune)...dar sunt sigura ca nu suntem singurii neindreptati de pe planeta(nu ca asta ar trebui sa consoleze pe cineva cu ceva...dimpotriva). Acum ceva timp am aflat si ca cineva...ma uraste...in secret...de cativa ani...Nu pot decat sa sper ca numarul celor care ma iubesc e putin mai mare...pentru ca altfel probabil ca traiesc usor degaba...doar pentru mine. Am prieteni care spun ca ei nu fac nimic pentru ei toata ziua...si eu ma menajez mereu...
Sa ma avant si eu in viata fara scut?...dar credeam ca asta am facut si de asta am ajuns aici..asa... acum... Concediu ca un sfarsit de drum. Vreau sa incep din nou ceva...ceva nou sau ceva ce n-am terminat...dintre miile de lucruri pecare le-am lasat ne-terminate cred ca as putea sa ma re-apuc de unul singur.
Si uite asa.. intr-o zi...poate ma voi re-iubi si eu pe mine...din nou.

Hung(a)ry for the love revolution?

WEll...he's only human...I guess...If he hadn't made the most common mistake stars make when they perform here, he would have been a lil more forgiveable. But it wasn't even a question of Budapest-Bucharest that sound similar...it was straight-plain foward 'nem tu dom'...or however it's spelled...Well...like I said he's human...he's an artist...I guess, at some certain level...he's allowed.

The show...was much more than we bargained for though!!! It was tremendous!!! He showed so much passion for music in all its bluesy, funkish, mow town, up beat, rock-dead ways...and his band was screaming talent form one or two instruments each.

I sat the closest I have ever sat to a singer in such a big concert, partly due to the fact that the lawn in front of the stage was not as full as I expected...

He is a complete artist...and I think his passion for music is what saved him after the big blopper at the biginning of the show. I liked the fact that he didn't play ALL his most commercial hits, I like the long beats towards the end of some songs (even though I'm usually not a fan of a song that drags on....this was more like an instrumental cascade...).

I liked this concert...full of life and energy...A bit soapy about all the love and revolutionary, hippy stuff...but he's forgiven again as he doesn't really know the skeptical, self-centered crowd he's dealing with here in "Hungary". All and all...good show Lenny!!! Glad I went to see ya :D

some sparks from the guerilla side of advertising

ad-vice about sex

can't you see that it's just raining...

...there's no need to go outside...


But we were outside and... despite the rain...everybody had a good time! All until Jack got unplugged because of the thunderstorm (I think I heard them say lighting struck just behind the stage).
I got to see ze Germans in concert when good ol' Jack took center stage on Oylmpia Reitanlage in Munich on the 11th of July. It was great too see such a mass of different colored, varied aged people...all chillin' ...with their little blankets, lying down on the grass, waiting for their beautifully-tanned, heart-warming musician to appear.
Ze germans have a system that lets the first arrivals sit up front near the stage...there is a second row for later arrivals and the all the mass, late-late bloomers can just sit together wherever.
The clouds were mounting up and as Jack began to sing the first tiny drops fell. The first half hour was pretty dry but fromthen on it started pouring harder and harder. I always thought that rain was not such a good idea at a concert, but it turned out to be envigorating and exciting. I kept bringing people even closer around the stage.
Ever swam in swimming pool while summer rain was pouring outside? This was a similar feeling only much more musical... as if every little raindrop carried a musical note and a vibrating high sensation that spread in waves from the center to back.And JJ was riding the waves ;)

Jack was superb... in great shape and in a partying mood. His voice sounded twice as good live. I loved "Never Know" in particular, then "Sitting, waiting..."and "Banana Pancakes" that he strategically started to sing just as the rain became a lil' discouraging. Of course "Upside Down" was a riot and "Good people", but I just loved those other two more that night. After the first hour Jack warned us that he might have to stop for a while and soom after the authorities came and interrupted him just for 10 min...or so they said. We had to go as my feet were soaked... German summer nights are much colder than in Romania and I still want to look forward to having children some day but Jack had already cast his magic upon me...that tranquility and happy vibe we all love him for was there...and I took it home with me with no regrets for the abrupt interruption. I don't know what followed... but I was already exhuberant so it doesn't much matter. Thanks JJ...you made our day!

Recycled art

Just when u thought Fusion had reached its limits...here's a fantastic type of art work from Sandhi Schimmel Gold from recycled material that form "a textural representation of beauty". The artist says:

I am a rabid recycler - I am compelled to upcycle* unusual resources to create my art. Look closely for menu items, junk mail postcards, business cards, old greeting cards, cruise itineraries, gallery openings... stand back to view the sum of the parts - a textural representation of beauty.

More from this exquisite artist here.

And since we're on the topic of fusion...here's another interesting article I stumbled upon today.

Lovely stuff to take to the week-end...so have a great one.

on much happier notes

Rumour has it ...ca acesti baieti vin in Bucuresti...taman de marele meu eveniment...cine mi-i invita la nunta asadar?
On happier notes...sunt tot bolnava (la cap...in mod constant) dar mai optimista. Mi-a mai iesit o masea de minte...bine doar un colt de minte acolo ca nu e sanatos sa ma invadeze inteligenta fara sa stiu ce sa fac cu ea. ..si oricum ar trebui sa-mi fac ceva curat prin creier s-o primesc cum se cuvine.
Mai e putin si dragul de el Jack Johnsonel ne va incanta la Oympia Reitanlage...
O sa public ceva si despre el mai tarziu...deocamdata ma bucur pentru ziua asta frumoasa de vara...pentru puful de papadie ce l-am suflat ieri prin Herastrau...pentru pisoii ce mi se fac mari si dorm cu capul pe perna, pentru prezenta balaia din viata mea care umbla cu un soare atarnat dupa gat pentru a-mi lumina mie cotloanele intunecate. It's gonna be great baby...We can do it!!!
Enjoy the song that has no wrong ;)

sanatate ca-i mai buna decat toate!

Cred ca nu te poti numi adult in Romania daca nu ai avut pana acum ocazia sa petreci ceva timp intr-un spital de aici. La noi...primul contact serios cu un spital e ca mersu' in armata...te face om...sau te doboara pe viata...cert e ca "u'll never be the same again"!
Din fericire, nu eu am fost cea care a stat pe patul de spital pana acum...insa...am vizitat multa lume acolo...din pacate...membri ai familiei din ce in ce mai apropiati. Stiam ca in spitale nu functioneaza totul asa cum trebuie...ca se dau sapgi...ca se sta la coada...ca sunt medicamente putine...insa pana nu treci propriu-zis prin tot procesul "internare- sala de asteptare- vizite saptamanale" cu cineva apropiat...nu ai nicio idee!
Acum un an mama mea a facut peritonita (forma cronica a apendicitei). A apucat-o o criza de stomac intr-o seara...am chemat salvarea...mai exact am apelat la serviciile medicale PLUS. Plus a venit putin mai repede decat ne asteptam insa doctorita 'in charge' a concluzionat dupa o examinare ...atenta-luati aminte! ...ca e doar o criza si a sedat-o pe mama cu un fel de somnifer ca sa-i mai ia din dureri. Peste noapte probabil ca apendicita a avut timp destul sa se transforme in peritonita astfel incat mama s-a trezit a doua zi cu dureri insuportabile. Am fi vrut sa o ducem la urgenta insa doctorita de la PLUS ne-a zis ca oriunde o ducem are nevoie de o ecografie. iar la urgenta ecografiile sunt PROGRAMATE!!! Deci da ..deci...
Eram singura...cu prietenul meu..care a ramas acasa sa aiba grija de bunica care tocmai isi sparsese capul cu o zi inainte. Am urcat-o pe mama intr-un taxi si am mers spre un spital unde cunoasteam o doctorita. La spital a durat aproape o ora si mai bine sa i se faca o ecografie. S-ar fi putut face si mai devreme...de urgenta...cum ar veni...insa mama fusese lasata sa zaca pe o coloana de paturi al caror carucior era indisponibil. Mai exista o coloana de paturi unde caruciorul era liber...insa acela tinea de alt doctor decat cel in grija caruia era mama si deci NU SE PUTEA apela la el..fara acordul doctorului!!!
Era vorba de un simplu transport cu carutul de la un etaj la altul (pentru ca mama nu mai era capabila sa coboare scarile)...spre sala unde exisat ecograful...as fi luat-o in carca daca as fi putut cand o vedem cum se zvarcolea de durere...insa nu...a trebuit sa asteptam carutul cu pricina...astea erau regulile. Ecografia nu a dezvaluit nimic intr-un final deoarece lichidul deja incepuse sa se raspandeasca prin stomacul mamei si nus e putea vedea nimic clar...a fost trimisa de urgenta la alt spital...Teroarea drumului cu taxiul unde fiecare hop parca ii sfasia pantecul ....Ajuse la destiatie...Alt hop: Camera de garda...Intru...spun ca am o urgenta...ca mama nu mai poate de durere de stomac si ca se prabuseste in hol. O asistenta plictisita ma priveste peste ochelari si-mi cere buletinul mamei. Ma duc sa-l iau...mama imi spune ca nu mai rezista mult...ma intorc inapoi in camera...asitenta imi cere TRIMITEREA de la medicul de familie. Dau in clocot -Ma apuc sa tip...ii spun numele doctorului care m-a trimis si ca e o urgentaaaa. Numele doctorului ii face ochii sa se bulbuce asitentei cretine care o ia repede pe mama in camera si o pregateste pentru un doctor specialist. In mai putin de ora mama era pregatita de operatie. Totul a durat cat jumate din viata mea...o operatia dificila...in care doctorul s-a chinuit sa-i curete tot ce alti doctori si asistente s-au asigurat sa murdareasca cu incompetenta lor si lipsa de chef!!! O asistenta pe hol m-a linistit ca e un doctor foarte bun si nu trebuie sa-mi fac griji (in momentele acelea imi pare nu asistenta, ci inger!)
Tin minte ca la primul spital in care am dus-o pe mama...in timp ce mama se zvarcolea de durere iar eu ma abtineam sa nu plang s-o descurajez...un doctor de garda a trecut pe langa ea ....doctor care de altfel o cunoastea. S-a uitata lung la ea...si i-a adresat un: "ce aveti domana Marin? Pareti cam palida?". Dupa care s-a indepartat asigurandu-ne ca trebuie sa asteptam carutul corespunzator, ca pentru celalat nu avem aprobare. Asistentele distrate l-au urmat razand si chicotind vis-a vis de o problema din presa citita de curand.

Mi-a luat un an si jumatatea sa pot sa scriu despre aceasta inamplare. Mama s-a facut bine...dupa 2 saptamani de recuperare in spital si 4 saptamani de concediu medical cu repaos fortat acasa. Eu, vorba colegei mele de suferinta (imi pare rau sincer ca a trebuit sa treci prin asta!), inca NU...si nici nu cred ca voi mai putea privi vreodata vre-un spital din Romania cu aceeasi ochi. Speranta este numele doctoritei care s-a ocupat de mama la primul spital. Speranta a rasunat atat de sonor in urechile ametitei de asistenta (inclusiv numele de familie). Cred ca in ciuda tuturor contributiilor la sanatate si eforturilor noastre de a ne avea bine cu doctorii si tot sistemul asta infect, SPERANTA chioara e tot ce ne ramane cand ajungi intr-un spital...e un joc de noroc...si sunt putini OAMENI ramasi in acele incinte. Restul sunt halate albe sau albastru deschis pe care un sistem le-a golit complet de substanta si de constiinta vis-a-vis de valoarea unei vieti umane. Cu sinceritate ma inclin in fata celor care au stiut sa ramana inca oameni!